Article | Fabulous Women

My top 3 survival choices as a (SLUMMY) MUMMY

Posted on 24/07/2012

I have given up being perfect! And that is a great feeling. Decades ago I dreamt of myself as this sophisticated lady, wearing a red tailored stylish business suit, high heels, everything in place, who was in control. I can picture her easily. And I am now, after years of reflection and therapeutisising, at total ease with the fact that I have never, for not one second been like her.

I am not in control and I am also quite slummy. Anyone who has visited my home, unannounced or announced, will have noticed the deficiency in my being, to organise a clean and de-cluttered living environment. Instead of paining myself trying to be good domestically, I have accepted that I am not. What a great feeling!

When I lived on my own, my house was spotless and organised. Thanks to the best cleaning lady in the world (in Holland, she is not available for me now) and the fact I wasnt spending a lot of time at home. Living with another adult was doable as well, with domestic external support. However, becoming the matriarch of a family turned all that control into mayhem. My survival mechanism is acceptance and ease: I am a slummy mummy.

What I have learned that makes it really acceptable to be like that are the following decisions:

  1. 1.Children up to the age of 5 have the magic ability to go to their bed with dirty faces and hands, and wake up bright and clean. Honestly, I have tried it so often, just to test the theory and it works every time!
  2. 2.Children have a natural instinct on what food is good for them, as well as how much. Just letting go of the pressure helped me as a mum and hasnt done my children any harm.
  3. 3.Dont iron and take it easy on the washing. As a philosophy (a cheap excuse, I know) I do not iron. There are exceptions, and they must be rare because havent touched an iron for over a year now.. I only buy clothes that fold beautifully and I know that if my children wear something clean and crisp it will look as if they have worn it for the day after 10 minutes. So, I go easy on the cleanliness as well.

Some of you might be disgusted by my approach and thats fine. It only applies to my family-unit. But why not allow yourself some contemplation about your and others expectations of yourself as a mum and what you can do to make your life easier?

I am all for stress free living and these choices have helped me.

Dr Mariette Jansen is the designer of the concept Meditation with a Western flavour, offers workshops in Weybridge and the online meditation product The Meditation Wave. Her website offers information on stress free living, mindfulness and positivity.

Meditation: a busy mums solution to an overstretched scheduleMeditation with a Western flavour: the down-to-earth practice to refuel yourself.Mysteries of the brain and its waves: how does meditation effect your brain?

Back Author : Dr Mariette Jansen - Dr De-Stress

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