Article | Fabulous Women

Find your feelings to revive your relationships

Posted on 01/10/2018

 

Here’s a personal approach to how people can deal with their emotions to boost their relationships. Published at the end of September ‘Feel it as a Man: a fool’s guide to relationships’is based on my own experiences, blended with the advice of experts. This book sets out to provide answers to lifelong questions around emotional problems, especially for men.

This book is for you if:

  • You struggle to discover and express your feelings
  • You find it hard to communicate openly and listen actively
  • Your relationships are fraught with failure and misunderstanding.

Engaging with emotions and communicating successfully in relationships can be fearsome and filled with difficulty in all walks of life. Thoughts and feelings can become increasingly muddled, so it is important that they are addressed and expressed to foster healthy relationships. 

Mine is a Shakespearian ‘fool’ who acts as the commentator on events and is the fearless teller of his truth. In this role I delve into childhood experiences and past relationships to discover the crux of my emotional struggles. Having enjoyed a boundary-less childhood at home, I initially blamed my warring parents for my problems.But I have come to see that my feelings were stunted by being sent away to boarding school.

My private boarding schools from aged 8 to 18 provided an excellent academic grounding and steadfast self-assurance, but they dealt serious blows to the development of my emotional intelligence. Through following expert neuro-scientists I have discovered more about how emotions work; and through the works of Daniel Goleman and Brené Brown I have learnt the importance of emotional intelligence and open vulnerability to create ease in communicating with partners.

I invite others to reconsider their approach to emotions, using the advice of experts as much as learning from my experiences. Conversations with others and creativity in all the arts can help people find their feelings.

With male stereotypes a hot topic of in the media, ‘Feel it as a Man’ approaches gender expectations in the belief that men and women are not as distant emotionally as is sometimes believed. Many men may simply be slower to access their feelings; and they are encouraged to become aware of their feelings, to practise listening in their communications, and to stay open to their nearest and dearest.

A long career in the media and publishing sectors has given me a professional but one-way proficiency in communication. Different communication skills are needed in personal relationships.  However, people are never too old to make changes, and my new-found zest for self-knowledge has been prompted by an adventure to India and Australia last winter.

Feel it as a Man is for those searching for ways to become more emotionally intelligent, to develop a deeper understanding of the impact of childhood on adult life, and to improve communication in relationships.

 

Feel it as a Man: A fool’s guide to relationships(£14.99) by Nick Keith is published by Panoma Press on 26 September. It is available in all good bookshops, and online, in book and Kindle format. Go to:

https://www.amazon.com/Feel-Man-fools-guide-relationships/dp/1784521477/

 

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Back Author : Nick Keith

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