Article | Fabulous Women

The challenge of change

Posted on 19/09/2012

A characteristic of life is change. Anything that is alive is in a process of change. We are all very aware of bodily changes, we know time moves on if we see our children changing, the seasons come and go, and you would think we are fine with it. But actually, we are not. On lots of levels, we dont like it. Yesterday I went into my local supermarket and guess what? They had changed the lay-out! And guess what? I hated it. Couldnt find the things I wanted, had to change my usual pattern and felt really annoyed by it all. If this is about an unimportant aspect as a supermarket lay-out, imagine how I would feel around more personal changes

In order to prevent and protect ourselves from change we create habits. Habits are very beneficial:

1.       It gives us a sense of control: we know what happens if we stick to our habit

2.       It helps us to avoid pain: lots of our subconscious decisions are based on the urge to avoid pain. Continuing the habit of smoking avoids the pain of tackling the addiction

3.       It gives us security: even though it is a false security, the familiarity of habits offer us the safety of us knowing what to expect. We know we jeopardise our health with smoking, we know the risk and what could happen. But we dont know what happens if we stop smoking; the void that looms is more threatening than lung cancer

Our habits become our buddies, they settle in nicely into our minds and keep us safe from change.

If we decide to change, we have to change habits, drop certain behaviour and create new approaches. And that is a difficult process, because the subconscious mind is digging its heels in and does not want to co-operate.

The best way forward is to define your goals. Any life coach builds their work with clients on the goal setting. Goals need to be SMART (specific, measurable, achievable, realistic and time-bound). That is quite a rational process. However, goals need to be true to you and it is important that your heart and soul are in it. Only then will you be able to enjoy the process of change and create a successful outcome.

What will help?

On this website there is the My goals button. If you open that, you will see three headings:

My goals

My Records

My Habits

Use this great tool when you enter your process of change. Spend time thinking through what you really want. Make sure it feels emotionally  right and write it down on your personal goals profile. Then list the habits that need to change; again think it through before you make a decision which habits you want to change and how to do it and dont re-negotiate that for a while. Write those down as well. Then the real work starts, because you want to get yourself into a discipline when you are creating new behaviour and routines. Jot down any achievement along the way, any difficulty and any experience in the records.  Remind yourself of your goals, both practical and emotional rewards you will get when you achieve them.

This tool will help you to stay on track. If you get stuck or need support, you can book a session with me (at a special rate) and that will get you in the groove.

Start your process now, use the fabulous tool and allow yourself to grow and enjoy change!

Dr Mariette Jansen is facilitating stress free living, mindfulness and positivity in her professional roles of life coach and trainer. If you need individual support to deal with a challenge you can book her for a 1-2-1 session. She offers courses and workshops for stress management and meditation. See the calendar for Autumn or check it out on the Event section.

www.stressfreecoaching.co.uk  / phone: 07967 717 131

Back Author : Dr Mariette Jansen - Dr De-Stress

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